A shy boy wants to meet French Parisians who are Dating

As a graduate of an American University who recently moved to France for a few years, I strive to create a social life, as close as possible to the life of the FrenchI have always heard about cultural differences and am a little shy about doing French achievements for women, for fear of breaking some of the most important cultural taboos. Can you give me any guidance to help me overcome what is becoming a ridiculous (I believe) obstacle? A: Your question is worthy of a research project, and the results are likely to vary depending on the age group of people you are interviewing. So perhaps the first step should be to connect with other people of your generation who have been here for a while to get a feel for what they have found.

Having done this to a limited extent and based on my many years of experience, I can make the following suggestions.

The rampant sensitivity to the so-called harassment issues we read about in the United States has not yet reached these shores, and French women want to be noticed and appreciated for their efforts femininity. This means that you can feel safe when you make certain remarks, throw certain glances or talk about certain topics, which certainly means that you, as a man, are aware of your sexual partner and enjoy it. However, this does not include vulgar or inappropriate hints that could strike you down. In the same vein, women want their male companions to take care of things like booking a restaurant for you, ordering wine, calling a taxi, and generally structuring the time they will share. The relationship is deepening, these expectations are changing, but at first I think the traditional roles are more respected by all of the United States. If you are not a student or an artist, you probably already know that I live here much more conservatively than at home. If you wear plaid trousers and a red jacket to dinner, don't be surprised if your partner turns down your next invitation.

Family is more important to us it is sacred and protected, and parents do not want their sons and daughters to bring home the people they are with, unless the relationship is serious.

Don't be surprised if women meet and don't introduce their parents for a while. Strong family ties also mean that the influence of parents is important and respectful. On Sundays for lunch, for example, it can be a ritual in your new girlfriend's family where she has nothing to lose, even your invitation to spend the day at Deauville beach. If you are truly committed to a cause, be prepared to deal with it with its strong attachment to your family. There is a whole world of subtle, unspoken expectations that constitute a real minefield in cross-cultural relations and go beyond this answer.

In General, however, I dare say that the offer in France means much more than at home.

If a woman invites you to her house for coffee in the evening, you can be sure that she means more to you, and you will be tormented yourself if you just drink and run away. Open the third ear to comments that may seem like disposable items and take some time to sort them out. My experience shows that various myths about deviation, French women, and also American women that you date, and this should give you a head start in your attempts to include them in your life. Jill Bourdais is a psychotherapist who practices in Paris both privately and in the hospital. A specialist in couples and family issues, she also teaches COUPLES, the skill of forming a course on intimate relationships.